By Chris Lingebach

Chad Dukes and Junkies producer Drab T-Shirt are taking shots at each other across shows, and it couldn’t come at a better time, really.

This feud kicked off with Dukes smashing Mr. Shirt’s Oregon Ducks Christmas tree ornaments in studio last Friday, a shock-and-awe idea floated to him by Junkies producer Matt Valdez.

Drab was extremely hurt over it, as I believe his wife had given him the ornaments as a gift, so they had sentimental value. Irate over the incident, Drab phoned the hotline and unloaded his rage on Dukes’ unsuspecting producer, a bland gentleman by the name of Jared Ruderman, who likes to enjoy his daily potato well-done and without seasoning.

After a weekend for cooler heads to prevail, the ornament-smashing incident was addressed on The Junkies Monday morning. Sadly, cooler heads were nowhere to be found.

Cakes: By the way, Drab T-Shirt. What is this backstory behind Chad Dukes smashing all of your Oregon Ducks ornaments off of your lovely Christmas tree here in studio? What’s going on with that?

Drab: Well, I’m glad I ruined his big announcement for today. Because he deserved it.

Lurch: Why did he do that?

Drab: Because he’s an a-hole, and so is Valdez, and Matt has a lot to do with it. It all started when Valdez had the last-minute idea to decorate the studio for our show on Friday, that nobody would care about. He didn’t have any decorations, anything. And since we’re moving soon at our house, we didn’t put any up this year, so I said, you know what, let me ask my wife. We can brings ours in and set it up in studio. So my wife comes in with all the decorations with Matt, and they set up the whole studio, and the only thing she said to me was, ‘Please make sure that nothing gets stolen or broken while it’s in the studio.’ And big, dumb Valdez on Friday. Mr. Radio P1, Fights McRadio — he tells Dukes during his show on Friday while he’s still here, ‘Hey, it would be funny if you started smashing Drab’s ornaments.’ It was his whole idea.

Lurch: So you were legitimately pissed?

Drab: Oh. Furious. I got a text from Awadd, after I woke up from a nap, saying, ‘What’s going on? Why are they smashing all your Christmas stuff?’

Several shots were fired.

Drab: You think Dukes wouldn’t be mad if somebody just started smashing his stuff? And then play it off as a radio bit?

Cakes: Yeah. Of course he would!

Valdez: Ripping up his comics!

Dukes attempted to call into the program, but was informed they were out of time, as this occurred during the final segment of Monday’s broadcast. So Dukes outlet some of his anger on Twitter.

The rest of Dukes’ tweets on the matter cannot be published on this family friendly website, but you can look them up here.

Another fly in the ointment, Dukes was supposed to be the one to announce 106.7 The Fan’s second annual ‘The Fan LIVE’ show, upcoming at the Tally Ho Theatre in Leesburg, Va. on Jan. 26.

(Tickets go on sale Friday.)

But Dukes was never able to make the announcement, because Drab, in retribution, handed those duties over to The Junkies, who inadvertently beat Dukes to the punch.

“I should be announcing that show,” Dukes said during Chad Dukes vs. The World later Monday. “That’s the end of that story. Drab goes into the computer, or goes into wherever the reads are. I don’t even know where they are in there. It clearly says on the copy: ‘To be announced on Chad Dukes vs. The World.’

“And he’s either too dumb to read that, or passive-aggressively hands it to his hosts. They announce it. Of course they don’t care. They give away tickets. It’s ruined. And then instead of saying, ‘Oh, wow. I really screwed this up,’ he decided at 9:56 to start taking shots at Big Shooter! Without giving me a heads up. Without giving me an opportunity to be a part of the conversation of what happened.”

“And then I call in to respond,” he explained. “And he responds with, ‘Uh, the show’s over, man. Sorry. Show’s over.’ Are you kidding me? At least allow me the opportunity to retort! I said, ‘What are you doing?’ And I curse, and I’m over the top, and I hang up.

“He calls me back: ‘Hey, why you so mad? Why are you so mad?’ Because! This is stupid! First of all, you screwed me with a real-life job deal. Everything that happened with the ornaments is nothing. You’re not even really mad at me.”

“You handled it like a clown by calling in and screaming at somebody that had nothing to do with it, because you’re a wuss,” he railed. “And now you’re gonna take little juvenile shots at 54:50 on The Junkies? C’mon. It’s ridiculous. And it continues to be ridiculous. So either one of two things happened: either you’re a bad producer, or you’re a wuss. Which is it?”

“And Valdez, how many more hosts do you want to have beef with here at this radio station?” Dukes said. “Do you want to make an enemy out of everybody? C’mon. You asked me to do that, mother-f’er. And then you want to take shots at me on the show? Shouldn’t you be passive-aggressively tweeting Grant, because he doesn’t like the quarterback of your football team? C’mon. Clean the Old Bay out of your ears.”

“I was gonna let Drab come on and be able to defend himself,” he said. “But I wasn’t provided that opportunity! That certainly wasn’t extended to me!”

“I don’t even know when it is, quite frankly,” he went on to say of the Jan. 26 event. “I don’t see it on my sheet. Is it on my sheet? It’s at the Tally Ho. Just go check The Junkies’ podcast. You can find out when it is and how you can get tickets. Do I have tickets to give away, or am I not allowed to do that, either?”

Follow @ChrisLingebach and @1067TheFan on Twitter


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