Grant Paulsen is trying to claim Cava right out from under you.
That’s right. That lovely quick-casual Mediterranean restaurant you’ve been dining at for years, of which there are 25 locations around the DMV (with another three on the way), all built before Saturday, Grant’s trying to act like he discovered it in 2017.
In terms of egregious theft, this one’s right up there with Tom Brady’s Super Bowl jersey, maybe worse.
We could very well be looking at thievery so duplicitous, it could rival in infamy that time Chad Dukes stole craft beer. Or country music, or vinyl, or Whole Foods, or day-drinking, or unicycles.
“A little bit later in the show, I’ve discovered a new restaurant,” Paulsen said on the Grant & Danny Show. “I’m the first on the scene. I love it so much. It is amazing. I will tell you about Cava, why it’s so delicious and wonderful, why I’d like to buy stock in this company if it was available to me, and why it’s going to tackle the nation by storm like Zach Brown flying across a formation. It’s going to be so good.”
Look at this, man…
Oh look, not-really-Devin Thomas is scratching his butt at Cava! Distraction tactic to make you forget I’m about to Christopher Columbus your favorite eatery!
Here’s all I ask: That you send @granthpaulsen a simple little tweet, containing only 4 numbers: the year you first tried Cava.
Just so he knows that we know.