by Chris 'Blue Shorts' Lingebach

BETHESDA, Md. (CBSDC) — There’s a lot to celebrate today: Team USA advancing to the World Cup’s knockout round, no new major Redskins name controversy stories, and the Quicken Loans National officially being underway at Congressional Country Club in Bethesda.

To the latter, it was major news when Tiger Woods announced he’d return to golf in time for his own tournament, and understandably so, became the biggest story heading into the tournament as a result.

Fortunately for Tiger, the Junkies had prime real estate for their live broadcast from Congressional, which afforded Lurch the opportunity to announce the play-by-play call of Tiger’s tee shot on the 10th hole.

As Lurch took his spot overlooking the 10th green, like the professional broadcaster he is, he naturally lowered his voice just above a whisper, as Tiger approached the tee.

It was actually hilarious how seamless he made the transition, like he’s been practicing while watching golf with the Corner Club, patiently awaiting his chance to play Jim Nantz.

“I can hear you now. I have to whisper, because I’m out here on the deck and I’m overlooking the green. Of course, you have to talk in golf speak, in golf tone here when you’re at the golf tournament, but we’re overlooking the tenth green here at Congressional. It’s playing 203 yards today, all downhill. About 185 of it is complete carry over the tee boxes and the pond, here, between the 10th and the 18th, here.

“Tiger Woods, of course, one of the most anticipated rounds of golf this year on the tour, wearing his black pants and his lime-green Nike shirt. Has not played since March 9, when he played at the WGC Cadillac Championship in Florida.”

“What are the wind conditions, Jason?” JP played along.

“Not much wind, JP,” Lurch replied. “I think it’s pretty still and steady; it’s a beautiful morning. It really is. Temperature probably in the mid to high 7os. And here’s Tiger Woods.

“Are we looking at a right-to-left situation?” JP asked.

“Probably,” Lurch said. “He has a five-iron in his hand, and here’s his shot: high ball flight, coming down — he likes it, he’s posing — and that is deep. That will be in the bunker. His first tee shot, competitive tee shot since March, and he is deep in the bunker. Gonna be a tough up-and-down, JP.”

Lurch would go on to describe Jordan Spieth’s tee shot, before throwing it back to JP in the studio.

Listen to Jason’s PxP, which begins roughly halfway through in the clip below. It’s funny, and almost mesmerizing, really, hearing the normally loud Papa lower his voice to a ‘golf tone.’

While I’m sure this opens me up to being called a ‘donk,’ one thing I’m not clear on, is how Tiger’s tee shot from the 10th hole could be his first ‘competitive tee shot since March.’


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