by Chuck Carroll

What does an industrious 31-year-old producer of a popular morning sports radio show do on a Saturday night at the height of March Madness?

If you guessed bellying up to the bar to watch the tournament, you’d be wrong. You’d also be wrong if you guessed he’d be out with his younger girlfriend.

Killing time with the fellas? Nope.

Recording yet another podcast? Zippy chance.

Reliving the Seattle Seahawks Super Bowl win? Possible on any other Saturday, but not this one.


He was baking bread — and that’s not a euphemism.

Matt “Drab T-Shirt” Cahill did a Google search for “things to do on Saturday night” and clicked on a link offering 100 suggestions. He sifted through the options, dismissing them one-by-one until deciding it was time for his baker’s virginity to go.

Again, the guy is 31.

Cakes was quick to point out that homemade bread is typically sourdough or some other fancy concoction along those lines.

But, Drab decided to buck that trend and eased into unfamiliar kitchen terrain and attempted to bake a loaf of white bread.

A cranberry walnut offering seemed too grandiose at the time. However, with his skills now sharpened, the party machine will likely carve out time next Saturday night for a gourmet encore.

“In a month he’s going to be in a farmers market selling his loafs of bread,” Cakes jested.

Perhaps sensing this could be a money making opportunity, Drab was quick to boast of his new found skills.

“I’ve got a silly talent though,” said Drab. “I just discovered it!”

It should be noted that Drab’s initial Google search also included the word “cheap.” Naturally, the big spender got this recipe from


  • 1/4 cup milk
  • 5 teaspoons sugar (or 1 1/2 tablespoons)
  • 1 teaspoons salt
  • 5 teaspoons butter (or 1 1/2 tablespoons)
  • 1 package active dry yeast (you can get yeast near the flour at your local grocery store)
  • 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 cups flour (get unbleached white for your first attempt)
  • Corn starch or nonstick cooking spray (just to prevent the bread from sticking to the bowl or pan)

Oh, Drab did this all by hand under the watchful eye of his spectator girlfriend who was not available for comment.

Here is a picture of the finished product. It does look a little silly.


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