by Chris 'Blue Shorts' Lingebach

WASHINGTON (CBSDC) – The Junks have been all over HBO’s ‘True Detective,’ covering it from every angle down to the last back burger since the show’s inception (Note to reader: If you’re not caught up on True Detective, stop reading now).

Admittedly, I haven’t done as much with the web-friendly content they’ve provided as I would have liked.

As they spoke of the show weekly in the early stages, and weekly became daily as intrigue leaned toward obsession, I began to imagine converting the Junkies page, if only temporarily, into a hub for True Detective-related content to accurately reflect the run it’s been getting on the air.

I slipped. Here’s my first attempt at righting that wrong.What True Detective lacks in answers — to seemingly endless questions forged by as many plot twists — it more than makes up for in premium, Grade A nude scenes.

Up until the most recent episode (SPOILER), sharing the screen with such exquisite beauties has been a treat reserved exclusively for Marty Hart (Woody Harrelson).

From his wife, Maggie (Michelle Monaghan), to mistress No.1, Lisa (Alexandra Daddario), on down to mistress No.2, Rebecca (Lili Simmons) — whom he’d made a “down payment” on in an earlier episode — Marty has lived life in the lap of luxury, by consistently having a female character in his lap.

Who better to excessively break down such excessive sins of the flesh, than Mr. Skin?

If you missed his segment Friday, you can listen in the clip above. If you have heard it, then you already know what I’m about to tell you, and it’s worth listening to again.

It’s almost impossible to discuss nudity in film without some level of perversion attached, but listen to the way Mr. Skin breaks down each scene with a certain science.”It wasn’t just that you see breasts, you see everything,” Mr. Skin said of the first “love” scene between Marty and Lisa.

He approaches each scene with a level of professionalism, and a style and attention to detail appropriate to how a Nationals beat reporter would dissect the hole in Danny Espinosa’s swing in 2013.

Lurch: Eric actually thinks that the sex scene with Matthew McConaughey and Michelle Monaghan — he thinks that’s a body double. I think that’s her.

Mr. Skin: No. No. That was her.

EB: That’s her butt? For sure?

Mr. Skin: Yes. Yes.

EB: How old is she?

Mr. Skin: 38.

EB: That might be one of the hottest 38-year-old butts in Hollywood.

Mr. Skin: Well, she was a formal model. People are saying to me, like — ‘well how could Woody Harrelson cheat?’ — and part of the reason, and I’m glad they did that, because of they would have had him with a frumpy wife, it might not have worked as well. So in other words, he’s cheating on a smoking-hot wife in the show.

More on True Detective later.