Which Is More Satisfying On Thanksgiving Day? NFL Football Vs. Thanksgiving Pie

NFL Football
Thanksgiving Pie
(credit: Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)
(credit: FREDERIC J. BROWN/AFP/Getty Images)
(credit: Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)
(credit: FREDERIC J. BROWN/AFP/Getty Images)
…pain? Does football taste like pain? Let’s go with that.
Winner Sweet and crusty (which, incidentally was my nickname in high school). Even better with whipped cream!
Able To Be Enjoyed At 1 PM?
Winner Yep! The games start rolling at 12:30 PM EST.
Nope. You’ll get your hand slapped. Pie is for AFTER turkey, dummy!
How Quickly Does It Make Your Uncle Fall Asleep?
Winner It takes mere nanoseconds.
Winner Instantaneously.
Able To Win You Money (If Gambling Wasn’t Frowned Upon)?
Winner Yep!...hypothetically.
If that becomes a thing, I don’t want to know the unpleasant future where people gamble on pie.
Causes Instant Shame and Regret?
Winner nnnnNNNNOPE!
Every time.

The Winner Is

(credit: Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)
Winner NFL Football
4 out of 5

There you have it. With a score of 4-2, football remains the Thanksgiving champion we all deserve.
-Brian Cullen, CBS Local Sports contributor


  1. MINNEAPOLIS, MN - OCTOBER 9: Quarterback Brock Osweiler #17 of the Houston Texans drops back to pass during the first quarter of the game on October 9, 2016 at US Bank Stadium in Minneapolis, Minnesota. (Photo by Hannah Foslien/Getty Images) SAN DIEGO, CA - OCTOBER 13:  Trevor Siemian #13 of the Denver Broncos warms up before the game against the San Diego Chargers at Qualcomm Stadium on October 13, 2016 in San Diego, California.  (Photo by Harry How/Getty Images)
    Week 7 Tale Of The Tape: Houston Texans At Denver Broncos

    The Broncos square off against their former QB as they welcome in Brock Osweiler and the Texans.

  2. SEATTLE, WA - OCTOBER 16:  Quarterback Russell Wilson #3 of the Seattle Seahawks passes against the Atlanta Falcons at CenturyLink Field on October 16, 2016 in Seattle, Washington.  (Photo by Jonathan Ferrey/Getty Images) GLENDALE, AZ - OCTOBER 17:  Quarterback Carson Palmer #3 of the Arizona Cardinals looks to make a pass against the New York Jets in the first half of the NFL game at University of Phoenix Stadium on October 17, 2016 in Glendale, Arizona.  (Photo by Norm Hall/Getty Images)
    Week 7 Tale Of The Tape: Seattle Seahawks At Arizona Cardinals

    The Seahawks face their NFC West foe on the road as the Cardinals look to get above .500 for the first time this season.

  3. FOXBORO, MA - OCTOBER 16:  Tom Brady #12 of the New England Patriots prepares to receive a snap during the game against the Cincinnati Bengals at Gillette Stadium on October 16, 2016 in Foxboro, Massachusetts.  (Photo by Jim Rogash/Getty Images) PHILADELPHIA, PA - SEPTEMBER 25:  Quarterback  Landry Jones #3 of the Pittsburgh Steelers throws a pass during warm ups before playing against the Philadelphia Eagles at Lincoln Financial Field on September 25, 2016 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.  (Photo by Rich Schultz/Getty Images)
    Week 7 Tale Of The Tape: New England Patriots At Pittsburgh Steelers

    The Patriots are riding high and now face a Steelers team who will be without their starting QB.

See All Tales of the Tape

More From CBS DC

D.C. Lottery Live
Follow and Like Us
Best Of CBS Washington

Listen Live