Cleveland Browns In The Playoffs Vs. Chances Of Seeing A UFO

Cleveland Browns Playoff
UFO Sighting
(credit: Matt Sullivan/Getty Images)
(credit: EVARISTO SA/AFP/Getty Images)
(credit: Matt Sullivan/Getty Images)
(credit: EVARISTO SA/AFP/Getty Images)
Last Time It Happened
2002. Wait, really? Huh. How about that.
Winner May 11th, 2011 in Pretoria, South Africa. Interestingly, the most recent time before was also in Pretoria, on July 21, 2010.
Yeah, But Did It REALLY Happen?
Winner Apparently, it’s happened 28 times.
They say they have photographs of orange lights, but, come on. We’re skeptical until proven otherwise.
Will It Happen Again?
Winner Well, this assumes it’s happened before. But you’ve gotta believe that in a spiraling, infinite universe full of infinite possibilities, somewhere out there, in one of the myriad multiverses, there is intelligent life that will one day visit us and say – “Hello.”
What's More Enjoyable?
Fans will likely be more heartbroken over the inevitable Wild Card loss than excited for their sneaking into the playoffs. We suspect there is no joy here, even in victory.
Winner If it’s anything like the movies, you’ll be poked, prodded, cut open, and experimented on. But at least those wounds heal. The spiritual wounds of being a Browns fan…probably don’t.
Reaction To It Happening?
Winner GUUUUUUUU OUR 29 YEAR OLD QUARTERB- I can’t believe it, I NAHNAHNAH oh god, we’re gonna HNNNNNG! *inaudible grumbling*
Winner HNNNNG! I gotta – there’s a light! Someone! You don’t under- oh God, they’re gonna: HEY CALL THE PAPER! I hmmm HNNNNG! *inaudible grumbling*

The Winner Is

(credit: EVARISTO SA/AFP/Getty Images)
Winner UFO Sighting
4 out of 5

You heard it here first. With a score of 4 to 2, a UFO sighting takes it over the Cleveland Browns. But hey, don’t worry, Cleveland folks. You can still rest easy knowing the rest of your pro teams are pretty great, right?
-Brian Cullen, CBS Local Sports contributor


  1. MINNEAPOLIS, MN - OCTOBER 9: Quarterback Brock Osweiler #17 of the Houston Texans drops back to pass during the first quarter of the game on October 9, 2016 at US Bank Stadium in Minneapolis, Minnesota. (Photo by Hannah Foslien/Getty Images) SAN DIEGO, CA - OCTOBER 13:  Trevor Siemian #13 of the Denver Broncos warms up before the game against the San Diego Chargers at Qualcomm Stadium on October 13, 2016 in San Diego, California.  (Photo by Harry How/Getty Images)
    Week 7 Tale Of The Tape: Houston Texans At Denver Broncos

    The Broncos square off against their former QB as they welcome in Brock Osweiler and the Texans.

  2. SEATTLE, WA - OCTOBER 16:  Quarterback Russell Wilson #3 of the Seattle Seahawks passes against the Atlanta Falcons at CenturyLink Field on October 16, 2016 in Seattle, Washington.  (Photo by Jonathan Ferrey/Getty Images) GLENDALE, AZ - OCTOBER 17:  Quarterback Carson Palmer #3 of the Arizona Cardinals looks to make a pass against the New York Jets in the first half of the NFL game at University of Phoenix Stadium on October 17, 2016 in Glendale, Arizona.  (Photo by Norm Hall/Getty Images)
    Week 7 Tale Of The Tape: Seattle Seahawks At Arizona Cardinals

    The Seahawks face their NFC West foe on the road as the Cardinals look to get above .500 for the first time this season.

  3. FOXBORO, MA - OCTOBER 16:  Tom Brady #12 of the New England Patriots prepares to receive a snap during the game against the Cincinnati Bengals at Gillette Stadium on October 16, 2016 in Foxboro, Massachusetts.  (Photo by Jim Rogash/Getty Images) PHILADELPHIA, PA - SEPTEMBER 25:  Quarterback  Landry Jones #3 of the Pittsburgh Steelers throws a pass during warm ups before playing against the Philadelphia Eagles at Lincoln Financial Field on September 25, 2016 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.  (Photo by Rich Schultz/Getty Images)
    Week 7 Tale Of The Tape: New England Patriots At Pittsburgh Steelers

    The Patriots are riding high and now face a Steelers team who will be without their starting QB.

See All Tales of the Tape

More From CBS DC

D.C. Lottery Live
Follow and Like Us
Best Of CBS Washington

Listen Live