valdez

James Watson (credit: Arlington County Police)

Man Beats Up Roommate for Drawing Penis on His Face

A 31-year-old Arlington resident was booked for beating the senses out of his roommate over the weekend after waking up to find a drawing on his face that was phallic in nature. Let’s examine the Bro Rules to post-drinking shenanigans and try to determine if these rules were observed.

03/27/2013

EB sits in his cave staring at Twitter, too embarrassed to show his addict face to the world. (Credit: LIONEL BONAVENTURE/AFP/Getty Images)

EB Has a Problem … It’s Time We All Intervened

The Junkies put on a fun-loving show every morning, from which talking about their lives is commonplace and yields laughs and hilarity for all. But sometimes fate steps in. Sometimes the harsh reality that we can’t control the world takes over. Sometimes even the strongest of men just need a little help.

03/07/2013

Jason Bishop "Lurch"

Freezing Your Kids For Golf Money: Terrible or Not Terrible?

As I was combing through the fourth segment of Thursday’s show, searching for quotes about how great a person Brooks Laich is – which was easy because it’s true – to piece together a nice post promoting his new Twitter account, I heard something I literally replayed 10 times because I couldn’t believe it.

02/21/2013

The beautiful Asa Akira. (Credit: JP Flaim)

Memoirs of a Shorts Tzu: Junkies Help Asa Akira Dominate Blue Shorts

The Junkies had a very special guest in studio Friday – porn star Asa Akira – who helped Blue Shorts live out an ultimate fantasy. She also bossed him around the studio (mostly) naked and rid him of what little self-worth he had remaining. Here’s your one-stop recap. Happy belated Valentine’s Day.

02/15/2013

Kevin McCarthy sits down with Bruce Willis so he can show him a ticket stub from 30 years ago. (Credit: NerdTears.com)

Junkies: What Is It About Kevin McCarthy?

What happens when the ultimate movie fan boy obsesses his way up the entertainment ladder and into the same room as the very stars that drive his obsession? You get budding star movie reviewer, Kevin McCarthy. Someone who started off as a complete joke, is slowly but surely justifying his presence in front of a nationally televised audience.

02/14/2013

Credit: Tim Yorro

Happy Birthday EB: Junkies Celebrity Birthday Power Rankings

Life is all about taking credit for the things you can’t control, which is why the battle of who shares a birthday with better celebrities waged so heavily Wednesday morning on the Junkies. Here’s how the list would have fleshed out in ranking of Junks if the segment lasted longer.

02/06/2013

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