(Credit: Chung Sung-Jun/Getty Images)

Lurch Casually Drops Biggest ‘Big Time!’ Statement Ever

Lurch dropped perhaps the biggest ‘Big Time’ in history on his co-workers Friday, when explaining how he has to call banks days in advance to reserve massive amounts of cash for his lavish casino vacations. What a pro.


Reggie. (Credit: Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)

Reggie, Lurch’s Mom’s Former Love Interest, Calls the Show

Reggie, former love interest to Peggy, Lurch’s mom, called into the show on Friday. It was historic.


Massive Snow Storm Slams DMV

Lurch’s Wife Calls Him Nine-Letter Name

Lurch told an EPIC story on Wednesday, about a nine-letter name his wife called him. You MUST read this.


Heres Lurchs nubbs filthy socks hes wearing.(Credit: @Matt_Valdez)

Jason’s Disgusting, Gnarled Socks He Claims Are New (Photo)

Lurch claims the disgusting, gnarled pair of socks he was wearing Friday were already disgusting and gnarled upon recent purchase.


On the left: Toronto Mayor Rob Ford's home. On the right: Lurch's childhood home, where he walked in on Ernie pummeling it. (Credit:

Side-by-Side: Rob Ford’s House Looks Like Lurch’s Childhood Home

(Photos) Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s house looks just like Lurch’s childhood home in Lanham, Md.


A bicyclist rides by a Google self-driving car at the Google headquarters on September 25, 2012 in Mountain View, California. It literally drives around the campus, driverless, all day long. (Credit: Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)

Lurch Doesn’t Believe Self-Driving Cars Will Ever Be Legal (They Already Are)

Despite four states having already passed legislation to allow autonomous cars, once the technology is fully there, Jason ‘Lurch’ Bishop does not (cannot) believe that self-driving cars will ever be legal on American roads; at least not in our lifetime.


Sign Falls on Lurch

VIDEO: Lurch Tinkers with Sign; Sign Retaliates by Falling on Him

Check out this video from of a sign unexpectedly toppling down upon the Lurch Papa in studio.


Lurch Papa Zombie. (Credit:

Lurch on the Verge of Nervous Breakdown: ‘She’s Not My Little Girl Anymore!’

Tuesday’s show brought a startling development on the ‘Jason being depressed about everything’ front, as he reluctantly admitted to a growing problem he’s had with his eldest daughter … as she gets older … and she grows up …


Lurch's future dog, locked within the harsh confines of a puppy mill where he intends to purchase the Bishop family pet. (Credit: FRED DUFOUR/AFP/Getty Images)

Lurch is Getting a Rottweiler

Friday’s show brought yet another revelation from Lurch. More than a month and a half after admitted Ashburn’s Royal Family was considering adding another member, the Papa revealed he’s decided to get a Rottweiler.


Lurch just wants to be as happy as Russian President Vladimir Putin, seen here playing with his adorable dogs in the snow, rather than asking the meaning of life. (Credit: Alexsey Druginyn/AFP/Getty Images)

Lurch Asks ‘What Will Make My Life Happy?’ En Route to Startling Revelation

Amidst Jason “Lurch” Bishop continuing his ongoing struggle to find the meaning of life, he made the shocking revelation that he’s considering adding a dog to his family. Now he needs your help weeding out the crap dogs, from the one that will finally bring him happiness.





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