Chris Russell cut an epic wrestling promo, in defense of his defense of Kirk Cousins, during his 106.7 The Fan post-game broadcast Sunday.
In it, Russell refers to Redskins fans as a “bunch of dumb-dumbs” and “morons,” and, at one point, shuts down a caller with a thunderous “sorry, homey” shot straight down from the heavens, all whilst losing his sanity live on the radio for all to hear.
(Disclosure: I don’t happen to agree with Russell’s characterization of Redskins fans as “dumb-dumbs” or “morons.” Perhaps “deprived of joy” is more accurate. I do, however, find Russell to be hilarious when he’s in a tizzy.)
The caller, named Dee in Bowie, set Russell into snowballing motion onto this hilarious six-minute rant. It was Dee’s opinion that Russell had overly praised Kirk Cousins for his performance in Sunday’s 38-30 Redskins loss to Minnesota.
“I’m sorry he only had three touchdowns, one interception, 327 yards in 26-of-45,” Russell began. “Sorry, I apologize. I didn’t say he had a great game. I didn’t say he had a big — I said he balled out on a couple of plays. In a couple of moments, Kirk Cousins was great today. In a couple of moments. All I’ve done — Shawn, you’ve been listening. Wush, you’ve been listening, right? My guys, right here.”
(I’m not sure who ‘Wush’ is — and I’d have to imagine Russell’s listeners didn’t, either — but presumably it’s someone seated nearby. As an aside, you should really pay a visit to Tyson’s Biergarten one Sunday, if for no other reason than to observe the raving madman screaming to himself in the corner of the bar. You could even be the next Wush.)
“All I’ve said is Kirk Cousins was — I said meh, eh, average, C+,” Russell forged ahead. “I mean, what do you want from me?! I mean, Redskins fans might be the dumbest, [unintelligible trilling noise]. I just, sorry. I get aggravated when you guys, ‘How dare you, Chris, have the audacity to complain or criticize anyone else, because Kirk Cousins makes $24 million a year!’ I didn’t say Kirk Cousins played great. I didn’t say that.”
That unintelligible noise Russell makes is honestly worth a standalone piece, but you’ll have to listen to it here.
“I mean, Redskins fans, you have to do better than this. You have to do better than this,” Russell repeated. “You’re smarter than this, but yet, so many of you act like a bunch of dumb-dumbs. Like a bunch of morons. And it raises my blood pressure, and it gets me — everybody’s looking at me here at Tyson’s Biergarten, and I’m sorry, but I deal with so many of you numb-nuts that I can’t take it.”
“[Cousins] did so many things wrong,” Russel went on to rant. “But to say he did everything wrong, to say that he was terrible, to say that he was awful… Sorry, homey. I don’t play that kind of nonsense.
“I just tell you what I feel, and tell you what I see, and that’s it, and if you don’t like it, then go listen to 980 and go listen to Fred Smoot. Whatever. I’m just telling you the truth, okay? I’m telling you the truth. Kirk wasn’t great today, but he balled out on a couple of spots.”
To cap it all off, Russell leaves his future callers with a bid of advice (advice he should, maybe, heed himself; although, if I’m being totally honest, I’d prefer it if he didn’t): “We can reasonably disagree. We can criticize whoever you want to criticize. Don’t be insane.”