WASHINGTON — Longtime Junkies listeners sure know Lurch isn’t one to wait around, for even a minute, after the show.
Which makes it all the more thoughtful that, when he heard Niall Horan of One Direction was making an appearance at 1015 Half Street, he stuck around for over an hour after The Junkies’ broadcast to get a photo with one of his daughters’ favorite musicians.
JP: Was there a buzz here? I was completely unaware.
Cakes: Oh, there was a buzz. There was a full-on buzz.
EB: The place was going nuts. He was supposed to be here at 10.
Lurch: There was a hundred 17-year-old girls standing outside.
Indeed, there were.
EB: Yeah, so Jason found out and you know Jason’s girls are like the president of the fan club. They’re like super obsessed. So all of a sudden, Jason was like locked in. He’s like, ‘I can’t go anywhere. I got to get a picture.’ So how long did you have to stick around? Because they were late, right?
Lurch: I don’t know. Valdez, how long was I here? 11 o’clock?
Valdez: Yeah, you were here around 11 o’clock.
EB: You had to stay an hour? So, hold on. At 10 o’clock, he left [the studio]. When I told him that, I’ve never seen the guy get out of his seat quicker, because he knew his girls would be happy, I guess. Did you actually stand in that hallway for an hour, or did you come in and sit down and wait?
Lurch: No, I sat out there for most of the hour, because a couple of the promotional people told me he was coming from Rockville from another station, and they kind of had an ETA on him, so I knew exactly — within a five-minute, 10-minute period — what time he was gonna be here. So, yeah, I was out there in that little interview room.
Cakes: The funny part about it is, if Jason ever checked his work email, he would have known that Niall was gonna be here, but he never checks his work email. I don’t do it either, but I check it more often than he does. So everybody in the building knew that he was gonna be here today, but Jason somehow found out. Somebody’s like, “Some dude from One Direction is in the building.” And Jason’s like, “Wha-what!”
Lurch: I actually kind of feel bad, because — and you’re right, I never check the work email — but if I had checked it, I definitely would have brought the girls down here, because that would have made their year.
Lurch: Apparently their security told Tim Yorro, our promotional guy, that there was no selfies, there was no pictures, no social media, nothing. Just leave him alone. And I said ‘F that.’ You only live once, my kids are gonna love it, and I just bum-rushed him when he came back from the bathroom.
…And my phone had died. My phone died. Shocker, because my phone always dies. And so, luckily, Awadd was there and Awadd had his phone, so he took the picture… But when I told my daughters, especially my oldest daughter, that he was here and then I sent the picture, this was her quote: “I literally hate my life.” She wanted to know what I said to him, what he was wearing, all that stuff.
Drab: The girls on the loading dock that were here yesterday definitely got whored (clarification: they did not literally get ‘whored’).
EB: Were there a bunch of girls outside?
Drab: Most girls were trying to get into the performance studio to watch it live, but the really ambitious girls wanted to see him pull in and hopefully get an autograph, or a picture, or a wave or anything. Well, this big superstar comes in in two SUVs all blacked-out, can’t see inside. Zooms right past the girls, right into the garage. They shut the door. The never saw him, whored ’em and they were out there for an hour.
In summation, Lurch is a good dad (and no teen girls were actually ‘whored’ at any point).