Redskins Cheerleaders Visit Junkies, Won’t Leave
WASHINGTON (CBSDC) — One of the worst fears for radio hosts hosting in-studio guests was realized by the Junkies Wednesday, when their repeated attempts to dismiss the visiting Redskins cheerleaders from the studio weren’t recognized by the Redskins cheerleaders.
It’s through no fault of the cheerleaders, obviously — they’re not radio people, and thus, have no understanding of the ins and outs, and apparently, polite brushoffs. Like when Lurch said two minutes into their appearance, “Alright, well, thank you for coming by,” what he really meant was, GTFO.
Now, this is really probably more on Drab. When the show’s hosts are anchored to their chairs until commercial breaks, it’s generally on the producer to facilitate these awkward dealings, like maybe by walking into the studio and opening the door, possibly with a polite but direct hand gesture literally showing them the door.
On this occasion, no such hints were offered.
Gallery: Skins Cheerleaders in Studio
Instead, the cheerleaders continued to hang around — again, through no fault of their own — doing what they were there to do, which was to plug their 2014 Redskins cheerleader calendar release party — at the Howard Theatre on Thursday, July 24 at 8 p.m. (doors at 6 p.m.) — rather than the alternative, which was to no longer be there in studio doing that, as the Junkies likely would have preferred in that moment.
To draw a more common real-life comparison, it’s kind of like being at a party — whether that be of the dinner or cocktail orient — and being trapped in a dead-end conversation with someone, to the point each person involved realizes the finite reality for which the conversation is destined, but neither can muster the courage or imagination to utter a ‘Well, I’m gonna grab some more punch’ and walk away.
“Very cool. Thank you, Tiana. Thank you, Adriana,” JP tried once more to dismiss them, but they were ever vigilant, so he forged ahead with the next topic, and as he realized their reluctance to depart the studio, caved and worked them into the next discussion, essentially granting them carte blanche to stay as long as they pleased. “I do know one thing at the very top of the show, actually before we started, Drab almost lost a significant amount of money, theoretically.”
If you listen carefully, here, you can actually hear Lurch make one final, desperate distress call for Drab, as JP’s basically inviting them to stay through the weekend.
See if you can spot which portion of the text in which the girls received the mixed message from JP, who essentially green-lit their extended stay. It’s not obvious.
“Because he was gonna bet Cakes that he didn’t know who the second richest guy was on the planet,” JP continued. “It was just a billionaire question. Like, how would you know? Alright, you guys work for a billionaire in Dan Snyder — he’s a billionaire; he owns a team that’s worth $2 billion, he’s a billionaire — but that’s slim pickins compared to this guy. Drab goes, ‘You don’t know who the second richest guy on the planet is!'”
It would be another two minutes before another opportunity for the girls to be shown the door would appropriately present itself, this time, though, with no regard for subtleties.
“Alright, well thank you, ladies, for stopping by. Or they can just watch us,” JP said laughing at the awkwardness.
“Well, I mean, Drab’s just sitting there like a bump on a log,” Lurch said.
“Drab already ended his work week,” JP said, still laughing.
“Drab’s already subscribing to a three-day work week,” Cakes said.
“He ended it fifteen minutes early,” joaned Lurch.
“Open line Monday, open line Tuesday, open line Wednesday,” Valdez joaned. “Lotta Junkies Shootout.”
“We can pull back the curtain,” JP said, finally. “Whenever we have ladies like the Redskins cheerleaders — they’re very nice, Adriana and Tiana — it’s always awkward. One thing I find awkward. I’m sitting closest to them, just by where we sit. It’s weird that they’re standing up and we’re sitting, number one. So they’re like looking down at us. They’re coming in to get their mention, which is that they’re having this calendar release party.”
“Get the plug, get in a little small talk, and then that’s it,” Cakes said. “It’s not usually, get all that in, stand there and stare at us for another two-plus minutes.”
“And Drab’s sitting their smoking and joking with Valdez back there!” Lurch said.
“And Valdez says in my ear, he’s like, ‘Thank them so that they can leave,'” JP said. “We already did!”
“We. DID,” Lurch said.