by Chris 'Blue Shorts' Lingebach

WASHINGTON (CBSDC) — As I wrote yesterday on Twitter, my dad is what some might call ‘a bit of a donk.’

That in mind, I met up with the donk Sunday for a casual tune-up round of golf at one of Fairfax County’s finest offerings, Burke Lake’s geese-poo’d par-3.

For years — ever since I first picked up a bag of clubs at the age of eighteen — I’ve begged my dad not to wear tall white tube socks with cargo shorts when we golf together, but like I said, he’s a donk — a complete donk.

It’s utterly embarrassing to be around, and that’s coming from a guy who’s been spanked by a porn star live on the radio.

Alas, I silent-joaned throughout our outing yesterday (of which I was the victory — as it turns out, it’s not that hard to beat a donk), by secretly snapping photos and video of him and his outstretched tube socks with cargo shorts, bad sunglasses and his God-awful — I mean seriously painful-to-watch — swing.

“He had a bit yesterday which was the greatest bit he’s every produced,” EB said Monday morning. “It may go down as one of the best Twitter bits in history. Shorts decided to start goofing on his dad, publicly. His dad went to the golf course, and is dressed like a donk. and he calls him a ‘donk.’ He’s got, I mean it’s just — he’s wearing cargo shorts, and tube socks.”

“He’s got a Vine [Instagram vid] of his dad hitting a tee shot, that I watched before I went to bed,” Cakes said. “And I did this fifty times before I went to sleep: slapped my knee!”

“It’s wrong on every level,” EB said. “You just don’t goof on your parents like that, and he’s openly mocking his father in a way that is flat-out brilliant.”

You can follow along the joan session below, if that’s the type of thing your’e into.

That ushered in a solid round of group joaning.

People seemed to like it.

Did I mention there’s a lot of geese at the Burke Lake course?

Let me translate that inaudible quote: “Look! They’re movin’ Chris!” – said the 57-year-old mega donk, wearing tube socks and and cargo shorts at a golf course, as he waits for an entire flock of geese who totally disrespect his presence to pass by.

One area I have to give him credit: to be this much of a donk 57 years in, that’s pretty much the ultimate bit-commitment.

Good point, Kyle. I actually had that thought yesterday, that my fate may be permanently sealed and genetically predisposed to a lifetime of donkdom.

(Click the follow button below for more dad-joaning.)


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