by Chris 'Blue Shorts' Lingebach

WASHINGTON (CBSDC) — Yea, sure, the Americans fell a few seconds short of closing out Portugal Sunday night, instead coming away with a 2-2 draw and in need of a draw or victory over top notch Germany to advance out of their group, but JP still believes.

He believes a lot. Maybe even more than you.

Certainly more than the Fox 5 News Morning show.

During not one, but two Junkies hits on Fox 5 Monday morning, JP attempted, awkwardly, to lure the news team into joining him in his “I believe” chant, failing, uncomfortably and miserably, on each occasion.

Just listen to the awkward silence:

On the first attempt, he tried to spell it out for them, but they weren’t biting.

“What you ladies need to do, is get behind the chant. The ‘I believe.’ The ‘I believe that. I believe that we will win.’

On round 2, JP came out guns a’blazing, this time determined to get Wisdom Martin to join in his forced chanting efforts.

“Hey, Wisdom, do you believe? Cause I believe. I be-lieve that we-will-win.”

“You do?” Martin said, clearly realizing what JP was trying to goad him into. “I don’t know if I’m 100 percent on board; I’d love them to win, I’m supporting them. I’m not drinking the Kool-Aid just yet.”

Translation: I’m not acquiescing to your stupid request.

As funny as it is, it wouldn’t be right to just leave JP hanging for all eternity.

So for help, and on the advisement of @TomDaly2, I employed the help of Bruce The Hugger, who picks JP up where Wisdom left him high and dry, in this tactful ‘I Believe’ remix.

[H/T’s @AJtheFan, @Matt_Valdez]

Related Junkies Posts:

This ‘I Believe That We Will Win’ Chant is Taking Over

Lurch Wants to Train His Dog in German


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