by Chris 'Blue Shorts' Lingebach

WASHINGTON (CBSDC) — Less than a week as a new dog owner, and Lurch has already had a supreme bonding moment with his Dutch Shepard, Luca, who helped him thwart a home invasion inside his palatial Ashburn estate.

Luca, as Lurch explained, started barking late one night as the rest of the house laid their heads in peaceful slumber.

The Papa decided to head downstairs to see what was the matter, to find Luca in her crate barking loudly, at the sight of a house mouse squatting in her immediate field of view, seemingly taunting the captive animal.

Unfortunately, the devious little mouse scurried away at the initial sighting of the big, hulking Lurch Papa.

Fortunately, the mouse had a rebellious streak in it, and decided to dance too close to the sun one too many times.

 “So that mouse is sitting, staring at Luca, flipping her the bird, taunting her, because the mouse is just chilling,” Lurch explained. “Whatever the mouse wants to do, nibbling on everything.”

“So, once the mouse saw me come downstairs, it scurried down the steps; it was gone, right? I took the dog out, she went pee. I put her back in, fine. 4 o’clock in the morning, dog’s barking again, alright? I’m thinking, ‘There’s no way that mouse came back up and is sitting right next to the cage.’ So I tip-toed down the stairs; that mouse is right back in the same spot.”

“Well, you’re gonna get a glue trap and put peanut butter on it, right next to the cage,” EB said.

“Right back in the same spot, Mr. Bickel, alright,” Lurch said. “But I crept on it, on the back side of it, because I don’t think that mice can see real well.”

“I don’t know,” Cakes said. “How would I know?”

“Well it’s nibbling on something, like on the leg of a table,” Lurch said.

“What you grab to smack it?” JP asked.

“So I grabbed a big Pittsburgh Steelers cup that my wife likes to use for her coffee,” Lurch said.

“Oh, you just pummeled her coffee cup,” EB said.

“And I crept up right behind the mouse. I can’t believe the mouse didn’t see me coming,” Lurch said. “And I wanted to put the cup over top of the mouse. The mouse kind of moved when I did it, so it kind of got caught on the edge of the cup, at the head. And it starts moving violently. The tail is wagging violently. And I kept it there, and I just put a big heavy table on top of it.”

“A table?” JP said, flummoxed.

“Well, yea, because the mouse, if I just let it go, the mouse is gonna get out,” Lurch said. “And if I just let the cup go, it was strong enough to move the cup. The cup wasn’t real heavy. So I had to put something heavy on the cup to keep it down, and I figured it was just gonna suffocate.

“Then I take the dog out to pee and poop, went back, the table falls over — the one I put on top of the cup — the table falls over.”

“Silly mouse trap you built!” Cakes joaned (joaning is bullying).

“Then the cup falls over, but you know what? That mouse was dead!” Lurch rejoiced. “Doneskie!”

“I think you got him from the initial contact from the cup,” JP said.

“Yea, you stunned him,” Flakes said.

“I think I did,” Lurch said. “But it was because Luca barked, that we stopped the home invasion of the mouse. That mouse is doneskie! Not sure if there are any more in the house, there might be, but that one’s cooked.”

“Luca’s a hero,” EB said.

“Luca is,” Lurch agreed. “Ashburn hero.”

Congrats to the Lurch Papa, for finding himself a reindeer-looking guard dog in Luca (or Luka, or, I don’t know).

Listen to the full story below.

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