WASHINGTON (CBSDC) — Every once in awhile the perfect minute-long audio clip comes along to justify spending roughly 20-times its length writing about it.
That time is now, as a caller into the Junkies Thursday morning proved, inquiring about Kevin Love with some impossible-to-determine word attached to his request.
Even him repeating himself, over and over, did nothing to help the radio hosts at the other end of the phone line interpret this guy’s unintelligible utterance.
Given the level of confusion involved in hearing this, transcribing his words is even more of a chore, so I’ll try and labor through the best I can.
JP: Mike’s in Fairfax. Mike, you’re on with the Junkies. What’s going on?
Mike: How’s it going guys? I wanted to talk about the Kevin Love Celtic talk that’s going around with the Wizards. What does it even mean for it to be a self-pick? I’m trying to figure that out. What do you guys have an opinion about that?
Lurch: What does it mean to be a Cel-tic?
Mike: Yea, like a self-pick. Uh, you know, uh, they were talking about how they’re secretly pursuing Kevin Love. So why, why, why is, so are we like secretly doing that? So why do we know about it now?
Lurch: Why? Are you a Celtic fan?
Mike: No, no, no, no, no. I’m saying ‘the Kevin Love Celtics.’
Cakes: I don’t understand.
Lurch: Seriously. Can you explain your question? What do you mean? Are you asking why it’s been leaked?
JP: He’s not saying ‘Boston Celtic.’ We can’t figure out exactly what you’re saying.
Mike: Okay. Okay, yea, yea. The Wizards, there’s been a story leaked that the Wizards are secretly pursuing Kevin Love…
I immediately took at as my mission for the day to find out the meaning of life through the source of this man’s frustration-inducing confusion.
Alas, this will remain a mystery unsolved.
We may never truly know the answers to all life’s questions, but I do know this: judging from the amount of foam that poured from mine own mouth, cast from my body purely from uncontrollable, guttural laughter (and the ensuing look of horror on my coworkers’ faces), this clip will surely only get better the more you listen to it.