WASHINGTON (CBSDC) – The Junkies have obtained exclusive video footage of Ram, in his private life, tripping and falling down a hill in a recent snowstorm, farting, then making a snow angel.
An unnamed source submitted the video (imposing an embargo on its release to expire Saturday, March 22, 2014), and although it can’t be proven with 100 percent certainty the fat slob seen is actually Ram, we are able to report, with relative confidence, that he is a little boy.
While the origins of the footage cannot be traced either, after examining the dialects heard, our linguists have determined it likely to have been shot somewhere within the borders of Crimea.
Before you ask, yes, this is real life.
Watch below, in horror, as Ram ‘does the snow angel.’
Note: Outlets wishing to either rebroadcast or redistribute footage must explicitly credit “The Junkies/106.7 The Fan.”