Sports

Valdez Smashes His Car in Recreation of Richie Incognito Ferrari Incident

by Chris 'Blue Shorts' Lingebach
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WASHINGTON (CBSDC) - Matt Valdez went full Incognito Friday, taking to his Saturn Vue with a baseball bat like it was the Ferrari of an interior offensive lineman with rage issues.

Valdez, in an attempt to recreate the scene in front of Richie Incognito’s Scottsdale, Ariz. home — where the disgruntled lineman reportedly smashed his own car with a baseball bat — told the Junkies he was willing to give his own car the same treatment.

He gives and he gives and he gives.

Obviously, the Junks weren’t going to pass on the opportunity to capture violent chaos live on the radio, so they obliged.

A couple things went wrong in the process, as things commonly do during live radio.

In retrospect, CK should have put his phone on speaker and closer to the point of impact to give listeners a better hear; Ewadd probably should have pressed record on the super high-resolution camera he had in his hand (instead of leaving us with grainy, low-res Skype footage); and I should have stopped losing my hair two years ago.

But hey, it’s not every day you bludgeon your car with a bat for the purpose of entertainment.

Here’s a timeline of the carnage for now.

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