The Junkies Have a New Jay Gruden-Themed T-Shirt Idea
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WASHINGTON (CBSDC) – The Junkies have a long history of profiting off the excitement of new players and coaches in Washington, D.C., by selling t-shirts with cleverly worded catchphrases.
Who could forget “Horny for Zorny”?
Those burgundy and gold shirts were all over FedExField in Zorn’s first year, proving the t-shirt game a successful venture for the Junks, in that instance.
Strangely, the shirts began disappearing during year two of Zorn.
Then there was “Cised for Bryce” — which, although obvious, to this day I’ll never get credit for coining the day after Bryce Harper was drafted (whatever. nothing matters. none of this is real.) — a shirt idea which caught fire with Junkies fans eager to merge their passion for the show with their love for the Nats — a fire swiftly trampled by the Nationals in one fell cease and desist order.
This brings us to new Redskins head coach Jay Gruden. Hmmmmm.
What’s a clever way of stringing words together, which emphasizes the Gruden hype which will most assuredly reach a fever pitch following him into Training Camp, while still keeping a nice ring to it?
“I have rethought this idea. I think we should be printing up ‘Gay for Jay’ t-shirts,” EB of the Junkies said on Tuesday.
“I don’t know why we aren’t. Are we all on board on that? Cause I’m gonna get that going.”
“I’m kind of over the t-shirt sales business,” JP said.
“You want out?” EB said.
Lurch: Gay for Jay?
EB: Gay for Jay. Burgundy and Gold. Redskin letters.
Lurch: No, I’m all for the t-shirt stuff — it’s free money — I’m just wondering if that’s gonna offend too many people.
EB: How is that offensive? It’s good.
Lurch: Gay for Jay?
EB: It’s good. It’s a positive. I’m gay for Jay. I don’t think it’s any more offensive than Horny for Zorny.
As EB would go on to point out, his interpretation of the word ‘gay’ as defined by Merriam-Webster dictionary is “happily excited.”
From Webster-Dictionary, “a pretty famous dictionary”:
- a : happily excited : merry <in a gay mood>b : keenly alive and exuberant : having or inducing high spirits <a bird’s gay spring song>
- a : bright, lively <gay sunny meadows>b : brilliant in color
- : given to social pleasures; also : licentious
By that definition, the Junkies are indeed Gay for Jay.
I guess the only question is, are you?
Line of the segment:
EB: “Will you just follow in my footsteps?! I’ll lead you to greatness!”
[Updated] Thurs., Feb. 25 at 3:21 PM:
I reached a few of the Junkies’ co-workers for comment on the latest shirt idea.
“I can’t believe what’s going on around here,” said Chad Dukes. “All I know is, I wish Eric Bickel would stop harassing Drab T-Shirt about his giant man-boobs.”
“I wish Eric Bickel would stop harassing me,” Ewadd said.
And here’s an artist’s rendering, sent in by a listener, of a possible shirt design [via @Gordon_McCormik]:
Gordon McCormick (@Gordon_McCormik) February 25, 2014