WASHINGTON (CBSDC) – Craigslist’s “Casual Encounters” forum is a great place to meet someone, particularly if you’re looking to get hacked up and strangled inside an alleged serial killer’s car, as was discussed on the Junkies Tuesday morning.
“Some of these posts are just unbelievable,” Lurch said, scanning Casual Encounters.
“Hey guys, I’m looking for someone to F me until I can’t F no more,” he read from one. “It’s gonna take all night.”
This seemed like a funny premise with which to follow-up; in fact, it came naturally. Jammed in traffic, I hopped on the Craigslist app on my phone and began scanning for funny Casual Encounters posts.
Here’s what I found, via Casual Encounters:
Plus Size Latina – w4m
“Plus size latina looking for 8 inches or more. If you wanna hook up and have some fun text me. Dd free if your available now7zero3 contactnine8eight me at9fourtwenty”
Nothing serious – w4m
I am a 28 year old white female looking for a guy. I don’t want anything serious. I do not care about age or race. you must be Disease free. If you want to talk to me send me a pic.
‘Must be disease free’ seems like it would be a given, but apparently it’s a thing, as you’ll see in a moment, and you can never be too sure when finding a strange m4w or w4m on the internet, I suppose.
[Subject line redacted because it will get me fired] – w4m
I’m 25 young and in shape looking for guys my age to have fun this Saturday morning. I can’t host so please be able to or know a spot. I drive and can come to you but please be around my area. Please be DDF and under 35. Looking for soon, let me [redacted] a nice [redacted] out of your morning [redacted].
The internet says “DDF” translates to “Drug and Disease Free.” All drug heads and diseased monsters, please stay away from my [redacted].
This next one’s a bit perplexing, although it seems aimed at infuriating desperate guys feverishly clicking their way down the page.
no sex this weekend next weekend are you avaiable [sic] – w4m
“No ones looking for a babysitter so that’s not it.
Everyone’s here looking for the same thing so
please don’t amuse yourself. Every other weekend
or everyday, what ever it is you prefer, you need to
set it up. So go find your every other weekend
today for tonigh”
This used to be all the rage back in the day — finding humor in others’ sexperation [desperation + sex … it’s a portmanteau] on Craigslist. I’ll save you the trouble if you want to search for yourself [CLICK HERE].
Warning: You’ll get a lot of this…
But seriously, it’s insane to meet up IRL with a person you met on the internet. Who would do that?
As the Junk(s) would say, when you’re cised, you’re cised.