Lurch: The Next Redskins Coach Will Fail, Whoever It Is
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It’s an overcast day in the nation’s capital. Dark clouds hang in the sky above a damp and dreary surface as tens of thousands of downtrodden employees clog the roadways, returning to work after a long holiday vacation. And the coldest temperatures in nearly two decades are about to send the area into a deep freeze thanks. Meteorologists call the potentially deadly cold front a “polar vortex.”
Indeed, there is not a lot to cheer about in Washington this Monday.
So, call this a prime example of kicking a man when he’s down.
Lurch dipped into a proverbial bucket of salt and threw it on the already stinging wounds of Redskins fans desperate for their beloved team to win. More specifically, they’re desperate for Dan Snyder and Bruce Allen to find the right coach who can win.
Hello, wound? This is salt.
“Whoever takes the Skins job will fail,” said Lurch. “That’s the track record of their boss.”
In one sentence Lurch ensured there is no Prozac strong enough in the world to lift the spirits of Redskins fans.
Die-hard fan Eric Bickel agreed.
“I would tend to agree with that,” said Bickel. “You don’t have all the stars lined up. You’ve got to have a front office, personnel guys, ownership, defense, quarterback… everything’s got to all line up properly and it’s rare.”
Team executives have spent the past week meeting with candidates to replace Mike Shanahan. Snyder and Allen have spoken with Carolina Panthers defensive coordinator Sean McDermott, Seattle Seahawks offensive coordinator Darrell Bevell, Dallas Cowboys special teams coordinator Rich Bisaccia, and most recently Baltimore Ravens offensive coordinator Jim Caldwell.
New York Giants defensive coordinator Perry Fewell will interview Monday.
You can listen and cry below.