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Missing Link: Be Sure to Start ‘Jimmy Cheese’ in Fantasy This Week

by Chris 'Blue Shorts' Lingebach
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WASHINGTON (CBSDC) - The Junkies dusted off a timeless classic Tuesday morning, putting it upon themselves and participating callers to guess the Missing Link.

This game historically yields classic responses (e.g. Roy Indiana) and today proved no different.

As far as explaining the game, well, I’ll just leave that up to JPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.

“Missing link is a game where we connect two names with the missing link,” JP introduced the game to the callers.

The Winner is whoever can say the word ‘Jimmy’ the most.

Below is an absurdly accurate account of how the first attempt to guess the Missing Link played out:

EB: Alright, let’s go to Paul. Gainesville. Hey Paul.

Paul: Good morning guys.

EB: Good morning, buddy.

JP: Paul, who would you like to challenge in Missing Link?

Paul: I’ll take EB.

EB: Alright, I’m good at this. Not really.

Cakes: False bravado.

JP: Whoever figures out the Missing Link first is the winner: Jimmy _____ Cracker.

EB: Uhh …

Cakes: Jimmy. Blank. Cracker.

EB: Jimmy. Jimmy. Jimmy … white cracker? Jimmy.

Paul: Jimmy Johnson?

EB: Jimmy … Cracker Barrel? Jimmy.

Paul: Jimmy Jackson?

EB: Jimmy.

JP: You’re in the tunnel.

Cakes: What’s a Jackson Cracker?

EB: Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Cheese. Jimmy cheese cracker. Jim. Jimmy … uhh …

Lurch: Jimmy cheese is money.

EB: Uhh … hold on. Jimmy. Hold on. Uncle Cracker. Jim. Jimmy. Uhh …

JP: Who’s Jimmy Uncle?

Paul: I give up.

EB: Hold on. Hold on.

Cakes: I know who Uncle Cracker is.

EB: Uhh … Jimmy. Jimmy. Jimmy.

JP: Paul gives up. You can just punch up another contestant while you’re still noodling.

Cakes: Jimmy? Give it to us again. Jimmy blank cracker?

Lurch: Got it.

EB: You already got it? Jimmy.

Lurch: Well it took me awhile.

JP: I thought this one was easy.

EB: Is it, now is it ridiculous that we don’t have it?

Cakes: Ohhhhhhh. Ohhhhh. You know what? Brain fart.

EB: Massive? Massive brain fart?

Cakes: Brain fart.

EB: Alright. Hold on. Cracker. Hold on. Hold. Cracker Jack … uhh … uhh … Uncle Cracker … uhh … t-uhh …

JP: Can you punch up another contestant while you’re noodling?

EB: Why?! Why? Why?

JP: Paul has already tapped out. He said he gives up.

EB: Okay, but why do I have to use it? Why can’t we just finish it and then go to the next c-?

JP: I’m just giving another guy a chance to win a prize.

EB: But he’s had time to cheat!

JP: What do you mean ‘cheat’?

EB: I want to win!

Cakes: He’s going to a Missing Link website?

EB: I want to win!

Cakes: To punch it in?

JP: He’s just typing in ‘Jimmy blank.’

EB: Matt (next caller). This is just unfair. This is unfair.

Matt: What’s up poker players?

EB: What’s up? You coming to the JPO?

Matt: Hell yea!

EB: Nice.

JP: Alright, so Matt, it’s Jimmy blank cracker still.

Matt: Jeeze, I already went all in and I have no clue. No clue.

EB: Jimmy cheese cracker … uhh …

JP: Alright, here’s your clue.

EB: No, I don’t want a clue!

JP: Here’s your clue.

EB: No clues!

JP: On TV last night.

Cakes: HUGE clue.

EB: Jimmy ‘the voice’ cracker …

JP: Oh my God.

EB: Uhh … Jimmy … Seattle Cracker …

JP: Think highly-rated.

Cakes: I like how you’re squirming.

EB: Saints cracker … Wizards cracker …

JP: K. You were onto the Saints.

EB: Uhh … Jimmy GRAHAM cracker … so stupid.

Valdez: I get cised for Jimmy Cheese.

Cakes: A HUNDRED clues to get that one.

Jimmy Counter:

  1. EB: 19
  2. Cakes: 3
  3. Lurch: 1

EB wins in a landslide!

Listen to this hilarious segment below.

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