by Chris 'Blue Shorts' Lingebach

BROTHERS GET CISED TO LIVE HERE, Md. (CBSDC) – The Junkies were privileged to be joined in-studio by legendary texter/tweeter/Kevin McCarthy lookalike, Jon from Mechanicsville on Wednesday.

Jon’s displayed quite an evolution through the show since losing his once-beloved Bret Oliverio (the former recipient of Jon’s hero worship), most notably by squeezing zingers into the Junkies’ segments with fantasy expert Dave Richard.

Every week during Richard’s call-in segment, in which he fields fantasy questions from callers, Jon notoriously weasels past the defenses of the ‘speed round’ – during which, any caller who exchanges salutations, or says anything beyond the strict parameters of “this person or that person” receives immediate gas face – with intentional obstruction of those rules, or inside zingers.

Some of his more notable, recent zingers:

  • T.Y Hilton or Cecil Lingebach?
  • Golden Tate or Rayvon Cotton?
  • On a PPF (points per finger) league, should I bench Lurch’s father-in-law?
  • In PPTLN (points per terrible last name) league, should I start Danny Amendola or John Wertheimer?
  • In a PPP league (points per pound), is Lurch’s sister a keeper?
  • Golden Tate or Colorado Cahill?

Today was finally Jon’s day to shine, and he didn’t disappoint.

Actually, it was such a packed show (the guys forgot) so Jon wasn’t able to get much mic time. Fortunately for him though, he (did)n’t have to drive 50 miles to be here live and in the flesh.

Here’s what little mic time of his I was able to gather (listen from about :23 to :27). There could have been more, and before I get myself in trouble with EB again, I should clarify I very easily could have missed something, or a lot of things. In fact, I’m sure I did.

Now about that lookalike thing…

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