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Redskins

Skins’ Performance on the Field Affecting Fan’s Performance in Bed

by Chris 'Blue Shorts' Lingebach
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Free safety E.J. Biggers #30 of the Washington Redskins sits on the bench during the first half of the Redskins 24-16 loss to the Philadelphia Eagles. (credit: Rob Carr/Getty Images)

Free safety E.J. Biggers #30 of the Washington Redskins sits on the bench during the first half of the Redskins 24-16 loss to the Philadelphia Eagles. (credit: Rob Carr/Getty Images)

Holden & Danny Holden Kushner and Danny Rouhier
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WASHINGTON (CBSDC) - A sizable portion of football fans in Washington, D.C. live and die with the Redskins’ performance any given Sunday, so it’s no surprise the latest loss – which buried the team in the division – has caused some to suffer physical, real-life effects.

We’ve already heard from one fan, who after the Thursday night loss to the Vikings, allowed a Cowboys fan to get under his skin to the point of getting suspended from work for ten days for arguing with him, and causing a disturbance (he should have returned today).

But falling to 3-7 is a bit of a gut-buster, and has prompted a flurry of questions regarding Mike Shanahan and his job status with the Redskins in the days since the most recent devastation.

A simple question was thrown out by 106.7 The Fan’s Holden and Danny on Tuesday:

How have the Redskins ruined your life?

The answers range from pinning high blood pressure on the faltering franchise, to one man being hated by his children because of the foul mood the losses put him in, and another admitting to yelling at his own kids more than is necessary.

One father even said his son refuses to bring his Redskins’ keychain to school any longer. Poor little guy.

But the worst response, by far, came from Dave in Waldorf, who had a physical reaction to the loss … or rather, a lack of one.

“Now listen, I’m gonna tell y’all how they messed me up, man,” Dave said. “I put my heart and soul into these Redskins, man. The other day my girl wanted to have sex with me, I couldn’t even do it bruh. I’m just so hurt with these Redskins.”

“Hold on, you turned down sex because of the Redskins?” Holden asked.

“I think I’ve got ED or something man. I don’t know,” Dave said. “It’s because of these Redskins, man, I can’t do it.”

It was a tough pill to swallow.

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