by Chris 'Blue Shorts' Lingebach

THE JOAN DOME (CBSDC) – You all remember those terrible posters promoting positivity and good health habits that hung on the walls of your high school.

You’d point and laugh at them for hours, before seven hopeless years go by and you realize they had a point.

Apparently – and I say apparently because I’m still in disbelief, even in the face of empirical evidence – Junkies lingo has reached such a saturation point within the walls of EB’s and Lurch’s former high school, school officials had to acknowledge it when crafting an anti-bullying poster.

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“I told these guys yesterday about this,” Lurch said on the Junkies on Wednesday. “So when we went to our 25th high school reunion at DeMatha, I walked through the school to just bring back some memories, see what they added to it.”

“Walking down memory lane again!” Cakes joaned.

“Did you look at your old locker?” JP asked.

“If I could remember which one it was,” Lurch said. “I remember what floor it was on, but um, there was an anti-bullying poster all over the school. Did you see this? It said, ‘Safe DeMatha, DeMatha Safe’ or whatever, and then it said ‘Joaning is Bullying.'”

“How did they spell Joaning? That’s very important,” EB said.

“J-O-A-N,” Lurch said.

“They did?” EB asked.

“Really?” JP said. “I go with J-O-N.”

“I would go with J-O-N-E,” Cakes said.

“J-O-A-N,” Lurch reaffirmed.

“Dude that is the quote of the day,” EB said.

It’s a bit coincidental a school had to acknowledge a radio show called “The Junkies” when issuing a public service announcement to its students; a platform often devoted to preventing drug abuse.

But I’m just JOEning.

Listen to the Junkies debate the proper spelling of the word ‘Joaning’ below.


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