by Chris 'Blue Shorts' Lingebach

HURTING LANHAM, Md. (CBSDC) – For your typical, run-of-the-mill human, engaging another in a physical altercation evokes a distinct memory, depending on how severe the results, of every last horrid detail.

But fighting is so engrained in the culture of hockey, talking about it tends to yield the type of desensitized recollection Brooks Laich gave the Junkies on Wednesday, when asked why he dropped the gloves at the end of the Caps 2-1 loss to Dallas on Saturday.

“Um, I don’t know, you just get P’d off,” Laich told the Junkies on 106.7 The Fan. “Um, Fiddler, or some guy on the team, he was tripping our bench before. He was doing something. I don’t know what he was doing. I was like, ‘Just shut up. Get on your bench.’ Anyway, then the game ends. Okay the game ends, and then I think he shoved Nicky, or he gets his hands up in somebody’s face, and I don’t know, the game ends. You’re frustrated, mad, whatever, and you just start a little hornets nest, and …”

“He doesn’t even know why,” JP said.

“It’s just nature,” Cakes said. “For Brooks Laich, somebody instigates with him, he’s gonna give it back to him.”

“You got like four or five, did you get any get shots in,” EB asked.

“Oh, I have no idea man, I was just swinging and then big Nick-smiv-sivick (Valeri Nichushkin?) or however you say his name is a six-foot-eight linesman, he fell on top of me. Then when I was on the bottom, I was worried some skate, somebody stepped on my hand. And I pulled my glove off to see if my hand was cut up, but I was alright.

“Ah, Jesus, can you imagine?” EB said.

“You dodged a bullet Brooks,” Cakes said.

“Yea,” Laich said. “Might not have been the smart thing to do, eh?”

Unfortunately, this came about as the cameras cut away at the end of the game, so it’s nearly impossible to fact check. We’ll just have to take Brooks at his word on the details surrounding the pseudo-scuffle.

So, for those of you keeping track at home, he doesn’t remember why and barely remembers who he fought after nearly having his hand sliced off in Dallas.


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