Blue Shorts Teaches RGIII How to Slide

by Chris 'Blue Shorts' Lingebach
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Blue Shorts standing in a park wearing an authentic RGIII jersey. (Credit: @BlueShortsLIFE)

Blue Shorts standing in a park wearing an authentic RGIII jersey. (Credit: @BlueShortsLIFE)

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WASHINGTON (CBSDC) - Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III, who fumbled after diving headfirst with the ball against the Lions last Sunday, told reporters he was open to the idea of receiving advice on how to improve his sliding, via Mike Jones of the Washington Post.

I decided to take him up on his offer, and lend my own professional advice through demonstration on the Junkies Friday morning. To make the bit as true-to form as possible, I purchased an authentic RGIII jersey, and did my best to replicated the rest of Griffin’s uniform.

Drab and Cakes found a local park, we grabbed a tarp and some baby oil, and I’ll go ahead and let the guys tell the story from here:

“So of course, we grab Blue Shorts, who I don’t know what he does. He writes for the website. I don’t know what he does, technically,” EB introduced the bit.

“He does bits,” JP accurately identified my job description.

“He does wacky bits, right,” EB said. “And he’s gonna be out there presumably in his little blue Speedo?”

“We’re at a park very close to us here in Lanham,” JP said. “Cakes is out there with Blue Shorts and the whole point of the bit is, RGIII says he doesn’t know how to slide.”

Insert live mention here. Cut to the park down the street, where Cakes, on the phone, and Drab, filming the bit for WatchTheJunkies.com, are waiting with me to set the scene.

“So Blue Shorts has a goofy leather helmet on,” JP said. “It’s not a leather helmet, but it’s kind of a pho leather helmet, and of course, he’s shaved his back, once again with the number ten.”

We’ll go ahead and call it a natural jersey.

“Shorts, Cakes and Drab are coming to you from the Willow Grove neighborhood park,” Cakes said. “We’re probably about a mile and a half away from the Lanham studios, and Drab wasn’t kidding, this is the tiniest park I’ve ever seen and it’s slammed in the middle of this residential neighborhood. I’m looking at the park rules: ‘No alcoholic beverages, leash law enforced, no dumping, no hunting, park closed at dark.’ There’s nothing that says Shorts can’t come out in his blue Speedo and slide on the tarp, and teach RGIII how to properly slide, and give him some good technique. This is super embarrassing by the way.”

It was definitely wacky.

Listen and watch below.

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