Junkies’ RGIII Knee Brace Challenge
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WASHINGTON (CBSDC) – As the football world tries to rationalize how hampered Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III’s running ability is by the bulky knee brace he’s worn through the first two weeks of the NFL season, some have taken to scientific methods to quantify how much speed he’s losing from it.
In the wake of receiver Pierre Garcon’s comments to ESPN Radio, in which he said “Robert obviously can’t run as fast as he did last year because of his knee brace and his knee,” the Junkies – EB, JP, Cakes and Lurch – decided to conduct an experiment to determine exactly how much slower a person runs the 40-yard dash with a knee brace, versus without one.
While the man himself, RGIII, couldn’t be reached for this incredibly scientific experiment, they did employ video producer Ewadd – or ‘Kneewadd’ as he’s been dubbed for the purpose of most accurately replicating the real-life subject matter – to conduct the following tests:
- (1) Run through six tires without a knee brace
- (2) Run through six tires with a knee brace
- (3) Run the 40-yard dash without a knee brace
- (4) Run the 40-yard dash with a knee brace
Because this was the utmost scientific of scientific experiments, it’s worth noting that the independent variable in this case was the action with or without the knee brace (I think), and the dependent variable is the amount of time it takes to complete the action – with the constant being Kneewadd.
“So we’ve got six tires, right? So when my arm comes down you go, and then you go through the six tires and then turn around and go back through them again. And don’t bust your face open,” EB said, prior to Kneewadd’s first heat.
“By the way, the tires are all different sizes, which of course is helpful,” JP noted.
“Nah, it’ll work,” EB said. “It’s good enough. Okay, ready? When my hand goes down. Three. Two. One.”
[5.16 seconds goes by]
“Alright. 5.16!” EB, official timekeeper, announced.
“Alright, 5.16 without the brace,” Cakes said.
“5.16. Very scientific,” EB acknowledged the scientific nature of the experiment. “We’re going to quantify this stupid knee brace!”
“By the way,” Cakes jumped in. “We haven’t even touched on the fact that Ewadd has not had a devastating knee injury to go along with the brace! He only has the brace!”
“He’ll tear his knee today!” EB exclaimed.
“Can you blow your knee out at some point today to make it realistic?” Cakes requested for the legitimacy of the experiment.
“He can’t even WALK with that thing on!” Lurch exclaimed, serving to highlight how a brace may complicate RGIII’s performance.
“By the way, this is like a brace that like an old Civil War-injured soldier would wear,” EB noted, so basically it’s like the same thing.
Unfortunately, the powers at be would have no knee injuries on this day, so the results (below) were slightly tainted.
- (1) Tires w/o knee brace – 5.16 seconds
- (2) Tires w/ knee brace – 5.78 seconds
- (3) 40-yard dash w/o knee brace – 5.44 seconds
- (4) 40-yard dash w/ knee brace – 6.5 seconds
Let the record show, the results confirmed the hypothesis (not previously stated), that a normal, balding 26-year-old male without any previous knee injury, is slowed tremendously by wearing a knee brace, therefore, without a great deal of certainty but we’re pretty sure, wearing a knee brace negatively affects RGIII’s speed.
Watch the video of the full experiment on WatchTheJunkies.com.