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Lurch is Getting a Rottweiler

by Chris 'Blue Shorts' Lingebach
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Lurch's future dog, locked within the harsh confines of a puppy mill where he intends to purchase the Bishop family pet. (Credit: FRED DUFOUR/AFP/Getty Images)

Lurch’s future dog, locked within the harsh confines of a puppy mill where he intends to purchase the Bishop family pet. (Credit: FRED DUFOUR/AFP/Getty Images)

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NUBBS LANHAM, Md. (CBSDC) – Roughly a month and a half ago, Jason Bishop was put on Ariel Castro-watch when he asked the question: What will make my life happy?

After a pronounced buildup, he eventually admitted the Bishop family was adding another member to Ashburn’s Royal Family, and had begun the process of looking a puppies.

Fast forward to Friday, when Lurch Papa made a follow-up announcement that he’d finally settled on a breed.

Lurch: I’m getting a Rottweiler.

Cakes: Oh, you are? You made up your mind?

Lurch: Let me tell you this. I went to this place called Dreamy Puppy.

Drab: Oh you didn’t do that…

Cakes: So you went and visited a puppy mill?

Lurch: Bas…well, it’s not really a puppy mill.

JP: Who’d you go with?

Lurch: I took m y daughters.

JP: Oh, so it’s happening.

Lurch: There was a…there was an eight-week-old Rottweiler. Oh my god, that dog was awesome! You know what, and I’m getting a Rot.

Cakes: Oh, you’re already in?

Lurch: I’m getting a Rottweiler!

There’s nothing really particularly funny about this, other than a faux wager posed for the Papa to name his dog after Russell Wilson. Nevertheless, it was a seminal moment in the show’s history, which warrants covering it online for nobody to read.

There was a mega botch from JP, however, leading into the revelation that’s worth noting (none of this matters).

BOTCH OF THE SEGMENT:

JP: I don’t know if it’s a famous dog, but it’s a boxer and it always wears her Celtic (sel-tick) strip.

Cakes: Not (Sel-tick), it’s (Kel-tick).

Lurch: You’re botching it.

Valdez: Silly Paul Pierce!

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