by Blue Shorts

WASHINGTON (CBSDC) – The 2013 MLB All-Star Game may have been a complete dud, but at least we can all be thankful it yielded a fight on the Junkies Wednesday morning.

If you’re going to fight in the first segment of a four-hour broadcast, it better be for a good reason, because with that baseline of tension built-in, arguments will likely spring from it throughout the show.

So what caused this fight?

Basically nothing.

In short, the dispute arose over whether Jim Leyland should have put 43-year-old Mariano Rivera in the game in the 8th or 9th inning with a 3-0 American League lead during last night’s mid-summer classic.

As with any great EB/JP quarrel, this spawned from the two nitpicking each other over something that very quickly, and easily would have otherwise sounded the minutia alarm.

JP: Rivera came into the game in the 8th inning. I think Jim Leyland botched it, but he got a standing ovation.

Cakes: What’s a matter? They win 3-0.

JP: Well it matters if he’s generally known as a closer.

EB: You think Jim Leyland botched it? You think he didn’t know exactly what he was doing?

JP: I think he got nervous, but I do think he botched it in my opinion, yes. He botched it.

EB: How could he botch it?

JP: He should have gone with Joe Nathan in the 8th and Mariano River in the 9th.

EB: Why? Who cares?

JP: He’s a closer. If you want to truly honor him, let him close it out instead of a hold.

The beautiful part about this argument, besides that they’re nitpicking each other to the point of exhaustion at 6 in the morning, is that they’re discussing a closing pitcher who’s synonymous with his entrance music: Metallica’s Enter Sandman.

In a lovely touch of irony, the Junkies begin every show with the exact same song, and to show you how quickly these guys got on each other, you can still hear the song playing underneath as they bicker with one another.

They couldn’t even get through the first five minutes of the show!

I personally love it when they fight, because when EB’s in the mood for a good jousting, there’s nothing better than listening to him perch from the tree and snipe. And when it’s on, like it’s a palpable thing to the point we can acknowledge it’s not just casual Flaiming, there’s equally nothing better than JP nitpicking each, and every last detail. You can feel when EB’s blood starts to boil.

Check out this great parting shot EB was able to work in as JP attempted to close out the segment with a live read.

JP: “We’re giving away spots on the 106.7 The Fan bus to Training Camp in Richmond.”

EB: “Oh, are you going to be on the bus? Who’s gonna want to go on that one?”

I’ve never quite pinpointed what’s so funny about these little jab sessions. Perhaps it’s that you’d assume as business partners they’d constantly be working in harmony towards a common goal, but as we’ve learned over the years, this is seldom the case with EB and JP.

Sometimes, simply put, they just hate each other. And strangely, only good ever comes from it.

Enjoy being locked in a room together for the next four hours!

Follow EB and JP on Twitter. Maybe send ’em some pics of Mariano to get the flames burning for tomorrow.


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