by Blue Shorts

WASHINGTON (CBSDC) – Along with grasping to fill the giant size-seven shoes left by comedic genius John Auville this week, JP of the Junkies became obsessed with showing everyone his disgusting toes, talking about his disgusting toes, and tweeting about his disgusting toes on the show Tuesday.

*Warning to reader: NSFA (not safe for anyone)

The thing about talk radio is, it’s important to bring elements of your personal life onto the air to build a relationship with your audience.

Things you’re allowed to leave off range anywhere from personal details about your family, to in-depth coverage of your horrifying bloody toes. But really, when you have your own show, the sky’s the limit to what you choose to expose; even if it’s the gnarly details of your crusty, crackling foot fungus.

To give you an idea of how revolting this convo was, here’s one of the introductory lines.

“I have bloody toes.”

Let me rattle off some more thrilling quotes.

“I just have toenail fungus.”

“I cut off my whole nail except for like a nubb.”

“I shave off the whole nail except for the nubber.”

“It’s just a nubb.”

“I shaved ’em down and I put it in an Epsom salt bath.”

“I’m nubbs.”

He didn’t actually say that last one, but he basically did. Sue me for all my zeros, lawyer man.

JP explained the condition as so debilitating, he’s forced to either wear shoes to the beach, or cover his Leatherface-looking digits from the harsh judgment of the world with layers of sand.

Now dig your nails into this snippet:

JP: I think EB has toenail fungus.

EB: Don’t throw me in your mix. This is your story.

JP: Alright, but don’t you have it?

EB: Why are you throwing my fungus in the mix?

JP: I’m just saying, it’s not that uncommon.

EB: I do, but use somebody else as an example.

Before you read on, there’s brutally graphic photos of JP’s toes coming. He should honestly have to work XXX into his Twitter handle if he’s going to be doing this.

[tweet width=”420″] [tweet width=”420″]

I don’t know if it’s the sight of these pics or that I’ve been melting my face off in Dewey Beach for three days, but I’m sick to my stomach after writing this.

I seriously am.#notabit

Hey JP! You’re grossing everyone out!

Follow JP on Twitter, if you dare.


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