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How to Pick Up Hookers in Dubai

by Blue Shorts
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Prince Andrew, Duke of York rides in a carriage with Sheikh Ahmed bin Saeed Al Maktoum, President of the Department of Civil Aviation in Dubai and Dr Anwar Mohammad Gargash, Minister of State for Foreign Affairs, after a ceremonial welcome on April 30, 2013 in Windsor, England. They look a little cised to holler. (Credit: Kirsty Wigglesworth - WPA Pool/Getty Images

Prince Andrew, Duke of York rides in a carriage with Sheikh Ahmed bin Saeed Al Maktoum, President of the Department of Civil Aviation in Dubai and Dr Anwar Mohammad Gargash, Minister of State for Foreign Affairs, after a ceremonial welcome on April 30, 2013 in Windsor, England. They look a little cised to holler. (Credit: Kirsty Wigglesworth – WPA Pool/Getty Images

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WASHINGTON (CBSDC) - Longtime Junkies listener and Jone Dome contributor “Hagerstown Steve” fancies himself a world traveler.

He also just happens to have a penchant for low-class hookers.

“In the city of Dubai, there’s these nightclubs where it’s specifically hooker nightclubs and you pretty much have your pick of the litter,” HS told the Junkies on 106.7 The Fan Friday.

But what drives one to develop such an insatiable urge for purchasing sex?

“Now, you’ve seen me. Like I said, I’m incredibly ugly,” HS said. “Well there’s a bunch of eights, nines and tens walking around and all of them are willing to do it for $100 U.S. currency.”

That answers that.

For instructional purposes, let’s get to the part where money is actually exchanged for intercourse.

EB: Where you do find out the price?

HS: You negotiate it with them in the club.

LB: So you say ‘How much is it?’

HS: They’ll usually try to start off with $300 and you say ‘That’s not happening home girl.’

Normally I’d take this opportunity to insert some Big Time commentary, but scaling the edges of the earth to engage in the unholy act of coitus with a cheap hooker is about as ‘nubbs’ as it gets.

This whole thing sounds dangerous though. You’re in a foreign country, in a sketchy nightclub that’s really more of a heavy petting zoo.

“I’ve been to Panama City, Panama, where there’s guys with machine guns on street corners, you know, military guys, and nothing’s more dangerous than Baltimore,” HS said.

Huh.

Listen below for the full tutorial on how to purchase sexual union with a woman overseas.

Please follow Hagerstown Steve on Twitter.

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