Panty Perverts Caught in Arlington, Va. and Lanham, Md.
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A perverted story out of Arlington was the impetus for a very uncomfortable revelation on the Junkies Tuesday morning leaving everyone feeling a bit dirtier than when they arrived.
Let’s get some background to set the segment up.
Earlier this week, a man was arrested in Arlington after video surveillance caught him going through drawers and closets of a home and taking the items, police say.
The man – 60-year-old Stephen Brumme, of Silver Spring – is a real estate agent, according to NBC Washington, and the home was being shopped for potential buyers.
Oh, and the surveillance system was a motion-activated web cam set up by the homeowner, after his wife noticed her underwear was missing.
Police arrested and charged Brumme with burglary and possession of burglarious tools, but I think we can all admit the real crime was the D.C. listening audience not finding out about this ensuing revelation sooner:
Discussing this crime of the unmentionables on the show was enough to spark an unexpected round-the-studio interrogation with the Junkies, a merciless crusade to find any panty-perverts of similar nature, currently in their presence.
Actually, it kind of went like: ‘Is this your thing?’ ‘Is this your thing?’ ‘Is this your thing?’
The tireless investigation revealed there was but one lone panty criminal among them:
30-year-old Drab T. Shirt, of Alexandria, Va., who delivered a shocking on-the-record confession of panty obsession.
“It’s, and this is so terrible and I hate this term, but it’s actually one of my fetishes,” Shirt said, freeing himself of his innermost demons.
Pressuring for specific details to substantiate the admission, lead detective Eric Bickel was determined to find out exactly what the perp does with the women’s undergarments once they’re in his possession.
His interrogation progressed to the next logical question.
He asked the accused if he ever “uses it … like a glove.”
“Like a glove!” he let out, as if he’d been dying to confess.
Detective Bickel, or DB, didn’t feel he had enough for an indictment, so he pressed on.
“Drab, be honest,” he pushed, using the monster’s first name to establish they were speaking on a human level. “Have you ever done that before? Be honest.”
“Clearly from his uncomfortableness he has,” good cop Cakes relented.
“Drab, be honest. Just answer the question,” Detective Bickel pressed harder.
“Twice!” Shirt exclaimed.
“What? With like your girlfriend’s…?” the detective insisted for more.
“Yea, yea,” Shirt admitted hurriedly.
“Was she present or was she not present?” Bickel continued.
“Yea, she was there,” Shirt gave in.
“She was? Was she doing the same with your tighty whities?” Bickel asked.
“No, she wasn’t,” Drab said, laughing uncomfortably to cover up his shame.
Looks like what we have here boys, is an open and shut case of airing your dirty laundry in public.
This should server as a reminder to men everywhere, never to … sniff and tell.
In case you were unclear of any of the specifics, listen here to ‘get the full grasp’ so to speak…
And hear the original panty sniffer, Bret Oliverio, call in below…