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Fake News: EB, Valdez to Launch World’s First #PornCast

by Blue Shorts
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'Girls Gone Wild' founder Joe Francis presents an award during the 29th annual Adult Video News Awards Show at The Joint inside the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino January 21, 2012. (Credit: Ethan Miller/Getty Images)

‘Girls Gone Wild’ founder Joe Francis presents an award during the 29th annual Adult Video News Awards Show at The Joint inside the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino January 21, 2012. (Credit: Ethan Miller/Getty Images)

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WASHINGTON (CBSDC) - It takes a lot to do morning radio well: Energy, enthusiasm, not sounding like you’re from Dundalk, among other qualities.

But there’s also sleep deprivation, a known hazard of the job when your job is to wake up and talk about the things you see on t.v. just hours after you saw them.

Luckily, the Junkies were able to rouse themselves to life early Friday morning with yet another discussion about porn to highlight what seems an endless obsession.

And on this particular occasion, that obsession was squarely fixated on the possibility of hosting a porn-centric podcast, in which all things porn-related would be discussed.

To be fair to everyone else in the room, it was really only EB and Valdez who were actually considering it, and to be clear, it was the possibility they were toiling, not the viability.

More on that later.

In all seriousness, or as serious as one can be about discussing a discussion about porn, this discussion really was an intriguing one.

Discussion.

Here’s the John crux of it:

“Well, I don’t know why we’re not doing a porncast,” Valdez proposed.

“Oh, instead of a podcast, a porncast?” EB asked.

“We spend an hour. We talk about what’s going on in the news of porno,” Valdez stammered.

“Well we could possibly do that,” EB acknowledged. “I would only have a subscription based porncast.”

“Yea, you got to get paid for it,” Lurch unapologetically focused on the dollar signs.

“And then it would just be hardcore dirty,” EB added perversely. “We’d get porn stars on every week.”

So, you get the idea.

As an aside from the conversation, EB mentioned something about Googling Nebraska co-eds. I didn’t know what that meant so I tried it and got fired from my job.

Before we continue, can anyone tell me how this follow-up dialogue could ever happen between two people who both know and see each other every day?

EB: Do you want to do it?

Valdez: Yea, I mean, I have the equipment to.

EB: What do you mean the equipment?

Valdez: Like the audio equipment.

EB: Well so do I.

Valdez: I know.

EB: The equipment you have is my old equipment!

Valdez: Exactly!

Fortunately, we don’t have to wax philosophical about which intangibles would make an hour-long “Porncast” listenable.

We know that plays out with a whip and a dog collar, and record-setting numbers on Watchthejunkies.com.

But could they squeeze some shekels out of it (hat tip: Cakes)?

Most people won’t even pay for porn itself.

And what sparked this riveting conversation?

Oh that’s right, the news of Girls Gone Wild filing for bankruptcy.

The likelihood that someone could monetize talking about something most people choose not to talk about is highly –un.

Having said all that, I’m actually a huge fraud and would be really intrigued to hear the first ‘Porncast.’

I might even get cised.

Listen for the conceptual Porncast guess list below.

Instruct Matt Valdez how to construct a sentence here.

Tweet EB here if you want it to happen.

And don’t forget to hashtag #porncast if you too are kinda cised a little bit.

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