The Porn Junkies: Why Daddy’s Little Girl Needs to Watch Out

by Blue Shorts
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In our ever-changing world, as technology progresses and high-tech recording devices become cheaper and more accessible, it’s safe to say as a result, the internet is experiencing a golden … of porn.

Long in the past are the days of saddling yourself behind your mother’s computer, as you scroll thumbnail galleries feverishly with one hand, straining to produce the sight of a moving woman as best you can.

But, with great power comes great responsibility.

Because we’re all perverts at heart, let’s check in with 106.7 The Fan’s residential sexperts to learn of a developing trend in ‘the industry,’ as I like to call it:

“I was reading this article about a trend that affects young women all across the globe and that is revenge porn.” JP said.

“Revenge porn?” EB asked, as if he didn’t know what JP was talking about. “I mean, there are sites called Revenge Porn.”

“And maybe those are fake, but they say that this is a true threat to young women on the net, one feeding off the other,” JP continued after calling it ‘the net’. “The first is the pressure to create naked pictures, sexual images snapped in mirrors to satisfy the urges of their teenage boyfriends. The second is the so-called revenge porn, in which the guys then post the naked pictures of their ex-girlfriends online.”

“Uh. Males all over the globe applaud the trend.” Cakes joked, clapping jubilated into the microphone. “They’re big fans.”

Awesome.

“Yea, unless it’s your daughter,” Lurch ruined the party.

“Here’s the way I’d look at it,” EB, the connoisseur said, primed to unleash his vast knowledge. “Again, it’s very simple. Do you prefer it to be real? Or do you not really care, you just want to see a hot chick?”

“EB likes the NBDL better,” Cakes jumped back into the fray. “He likes the backwater arenas.”

Watch the master work.

“A lot of the amateur girls where the guys are just banging them with the iPhone or something; they’re not heinous,” EB explained. “Plenty of hot girls are getting tagged. In fact, I find the girls in the pornos, often times, the professional pornos, gross. Because they’re all plasticky. Everything’s fake. It’s just too much.

“Again, the key is, if that’s something that you’re into: poor lighting, mediocre audio and it can never be a nice clean three-minute clip. The real clips are 27, 30, you know like the random numbers. Or eight minutes, forty-two seconds, they haven’t been professionally edited. It’s just, this is his conquest and that’s how long it ran.”

“I’ll be honest with you,” Lurch said. “Call me crazy. I’m more attracted to the girls that come into the studio that we have when we do our bikini contests, or any sort of contest like that, than the porn stars that come in.”

I feel horrible for parents today.

If you have a daughter, it’s bad enough that from the time she reaches middle school, you have to live with the fear that one day she’ll no longer be Daddy’s little girl.

What’s worse, to be considered a good parent, you have to sit down with your baby girl and explain to her that all she’ll meet in high school are savages trying to stain her forever, and you have to be convincing about it.

Otherwise a 42-year-old DJ could be staring at her seven to ten times during a good long session in his theater room.

All that out-of-the-way, thank God for high-speed internet.

Hear the rest of the conversation below.

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